Friday, May 27, 2011

Doomsday predictions.

10 Times the World Was Supposed to End But (Obviously) Didn’t


The date May 21, 2011 has passed, and as it turns out, the Second Coming of Christ will be delayed another few months. Harold Camping's latest erroneous doomsday prediction brings his record to 0-2 -- he previously prophesied the world would end in 1994, and as far as we know, it didn't. Fortunately for Harold, an 89-year-old civil engineer, he isn't the only "credible" person who has whiffed at foretelling our final days. Here are several other dates that caused believers to pack, unbelievers to laugh -- nothing wrong with a little critical thinking -- and History Channel producers to ill-advisedly alter their programming.

1814 -- End Times (Joanna Southcott): Like many other prophets, Southcott was self-anointed. A daughter of a farmer and a domestic servant, she professed that she miraculously incurred supernatural gifts, including a newborn Christ child -- she was a 64-year-old virgin at the time -- whose expected birth date was Christmas Day 1814. However, instead of cradling a newborn that day, she met her maker on her own, leaving her followers stunned and confused. They saved her body believing that she would be raised from the dead, but were forced to bury her once her body began decaying.

1844 -- The Great Disappointment: Several years after William Miller became convinced that Christ's Second Coming was imminent, he suddenly felt compelled to share his prophecy by lecturing and composing articles to be published in newspapers. A regional movement transformed into a national movement, eventually becoming known as the Millerite Movement. Originally he predicted Christ would return in 1843, and after some indecision, he finally settled on October 22, 1844 as the date. When it passed without incident, many Millerites were incensed they weren't going to enter God's Kingdom when they expected, but retained hope that it would still come at a later date. Miller believed it would occur until his death in 1849.

1910 -- Halley's Comet: Although astronomers at the time were saying the passing of Halley's Comet would bring nothing more than a few spectacular sunsets, the reactionary loons of the world took the chance to stir panic. Because Earth was going to pass through the comet's tail, which consisted of poisonous gas, several credible newspapers published articles detailing the "possibility" of disaster. Opportunistic entrepreneurs took advantage of the naive by selling "comet pills" intended to make people immune to the gas. Of course, they didn't get a refund when all was well on May 20.

1914 -- End Times (Jehovah's Witnesses): October 1 was the first End Times prediction made by Jehovah's Witnesses. In the weeks leading up to the event, they braced themselves for the appearance of Satan, the cause of human suffering, and his demons, which were prepared to do his bidding. Always the procrastinator, he delayed the job indefinitely and failed to establish a concrete make-up date. The Witnesses made several more predictions through the years until they finally quit in 1995, at which they point they decided to claim the end is coming "soon."

1919 -- Solar Flare: In one of the more unique doomsday predictions, meteorologist Albert Porta claimed that on December 17, the planets would align and generate a magnetic flux, bringing forth an Earth-bound solar flare that would burn the atmosphere. Some gullible people who couldn't bear the thought of experiencing such a disaster committed suicide, taking the perceived "easy way out" of a hell-on-Earth situation.

1954 -- Great Flood: Dorothy Martin was a housewife who clearly had too much time on her hands. When the 54-year-old wasn't performing the duties of a typical 1950s woman, she was relaying communications from outer space, including an ominous one that "there will be much loss of life, practically all of it" on December 21. The event was going to be undertaken by the "Supreme Being," who intended to cover land with the sea and then raise the land that was previously submerged by the sea. The only people unsettled by her predictions were the children of her neighborhood, who reportedly had trouble sleeping after hearing of the impending doom and gloom.

1982 -- Jupiter Effect: John Gribbin described another planet alignment doomsday scenario in which a series of catastrophic events would transpire, the most notable of which would've been a massive earthquake on the San Andreas Fault. His theory, known as the Jupiter Effect, was published in a book (with that title) in 1974, allowing eight years for more credible scientists to debunk it. A month after the March 10, 1982 date, Gribbin claimed that the effect actually occurred two years earlier and caused the Mount St. Helens eruption. He expressed regret for the misguided prediction in his 1999 book, The Little Book of Science.

1982 -- End Times (Pat Robertson): Ol' Pat has said some crazy things in his day, such as the 2010 Haiti earthquake was a "blessing in disguise," the U.S. should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and we should nuke the state department. Rationality isn't his strength, which is why it should come as no surprise that he isn't above predicting the End Times. Exact quote: "I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world." Thirty years later, to our knowledge, no unbelievers have been trapped in a fiery lake with Satan.

1998 -- End Times (Hon-Ming Chen): Overshadowed by the more timely millennial prophecies, Chen Tao's prognostication that God would appear on American television at 12:01 a.m. on March 31, 1998 is underrated for its humorousness. His Chen Tao cult moved to Garland, Texas -- which they chose because it sounded like "God land" -- months in advance to prepare for the event, distinctively wearing cowboy hats, dressing in white and driving luxury cars. Many of the group's 160 members were educated white-collar professionals, unlike your stereotypical cult members. Once the date passed, Chen offered to be crucified as a punishment, but his followers declined. Chen Tao essentially disbanded thereafter.

2000 -- Holy War or Y2K: According to religioustolerance.org, there were 32 doomsday predictions for the year 2000 alone, including four that were supposed to occur on New Year's Day. One is falsely credited to Pope John XXIII, who, in 1961, is said to have stated that a Libyan terrorist group would launch a nuclear bomb toward a major European city, inciting a months-long war and millions of deaths. Most people, though, remember the Y2K millennium bug scare, which resulted from the practice of using two-digit abbreviations for years in computers. The rollover from "99" to "00" could've caused long-time data storage systems to fail, but we were prepared, and thankfully, we've lived to see the third millennium.

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