10 Signs That a Relationship Is Collapsing

nurturingrelationships.com

A new relationship is a beautiful thing, but not all couples are easy and natural. Sometimes things just don’t work out and the relationship begins the long road to failure. This can mean one of two things: Either the relationship is worth saving, and it’s time for you and your partner to start fighting to save it OR that the relationship was never meant to be, and it’s time for you to move on. Knowing the signs of a collapsing relationship will help you take control of your love life, and choose the best direction to move forward. Here are ten signs that a relationship is collapsing:

You prefer the Time you spend Apart

Couples naturally won’t spend all their time together. There will always be family and friends and jobs to distract either partner in a relationship. The problem comes when you enjoy the time you spend away from your partner more than you enjoy the time that you spend together.

Boredom with the Relationship

New relationships are exciting, but everyone knows that feeling never lasts. What usually happens after the excitement is a feeling of comfort and security. If instead of feeling comfort, you feel bored and tired of your partner, then the end it probably near, and it’s time to either challenge your partner to renew the relationship or just move on.

Declining Sex Life

A declining sex life is related to boredom with the relationship, but even more serious. If your partner is constantly declining to have sex with you when they used to be open and affectionate, then it means the spark has gone and physical attraction is no longer a factor. To fix this requires massive action on both sides of the relationship to bring back the interest, but it may already be too late.

The Past is better than the Future

If you spend all your time thinking about how things used to be, and not about where things are going, then the relationship is about to collapse. Having nothing to look forward to means the best times are already over. You can try to bring back what made the relationship great, usually by changing the scenery and getting a vacation, but that spark is hard to light once it goes out and it may be already too late.

You are only Making Sacrifices

Every relationship is give-and-take. Both partners should understand that there are some things that they have to change about themselves in order to make the relationship work. The collapse comes when one partner is doing all the taking and the other is making all the sacrifices. This means that there is no respect left in the relationship, and there is no happiness to be had in a relationship with no respect.

You are Fighting often and Aggressively

It’s perfectly normal for couples to fight; in fact, it’s necessary in a new relationship to set boundaries that both partners can agree with. When fighting is all you and your partner do, however, something is wrong. Constant fighting means neither partner is getting what they want, or willing to sacrifice. The end is near.

Secrets and Silence

New couples naturally want to share everything with each other; it’s a fun step in an early relationship that helps each partner figure out who they are. As the relationship gets older, this turns into trust, and the couple is no longer scared of sharing their most important secrets with one another. That trust doesn’t always develop though. Sometimes, fear takes the place of trust, and this is a death knell to a relationship. Constant secrets and a disinclination to share mean that the trust never developed, and it’s time to move on.

Incompatible and Stubborn Goals

Sometimes, even when couples get along, they want such radically different things out of life that the relationship will never succeed. Some things are simply more important than the minor changes that couples are expected to make—like where you want to live, whether you want children, whether you want to be married. If both partners have goals that won’t work and they refuse to change them, the relationship will end sooner or later.

Cheating

Cheating should never be tolerated in a relationship, as it is a violation of the very obligations that a relationship is founded on. Cheating demonstrates a lack of respect, a lack of caring, and a sexual dissatisfaction with the relationship. If there is cheating, then the relationship should have already ended before it had a chance to happen.

Abuse

If either partner is abusive, the relationship needs to end immediately. There is no salvaging a relationship that is accepts the harm of either partner. Leave as soon as safety will allow, and inform the authorities if necessary.

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