Porn: the good, the bad and the sexy
The New Position
Sarah Vannier - Sex Columnist
October 19, 2011 6:00 AM ADT
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Almost all of us have seen porn at one point or another, and finding porn is easier than ever before. In the past you had to search for your dad’s stash of Playboys, rent something from the video store, or even pay (gasp!) to access a website.
And it isn’t just easy to find porn. It’s easy to find free, full-length videos, depicting almost anything you want to see. If you’re reading this online right now, you’re probably only three clicks away from a virtual porn buffet. No wonder so many people are watching porn!
So, does all of this porn have an effect on our sex lives? The answer is a resounding yes. Porn definitely shapes the way we think about sex and it does this in good ways and bad ways.
One reason why porn shapes our behaviour is that we can use it as a source of information about sex. Chances are that the sex education you got from your teachers and parents didn’t cover the topics we’re most interested in knowing. We want to know how to do it, what goes where, what feels good, and so on. Porn (for better or for worse) gives us the explicit information we so desperately crave.
There is some evidence that we use porn to fill in those gaps in our sexual knowledge. Martin Weinberg and his colleagues at Indiana University asked college students about how pornography affected their attitudes toward different sexual behaviours and their experiences.
Many of the students said they learned about sexual techniques or sexual positions from porn. Some said watching porn led them to experiment with different things, usually oral or anal sex, and allowed them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality. Porn can also be great for normalizing sexual interests, fantasies, or behaviours that people might have already been doing but felt guilty about.
Unfortunately, there are some downsides to porn and our sex lives. The main problem with using porn as a source of information is that it can be extremely unrealistic. The actresses in pornography have tight bodies, big boobs and zero body hair, while the men have penises well above average size. Some research suggests that being constantly exposed to the big penises in porn may cause men to underestimate their own penis size and decrease their sexual confidence.
Porn gives us unrealistic standards about the way we’re supposed to behave, and often promotes myths and misinformation about sexual behaviour and pleasure. Porn can be completely off base in showing what sexual pleasure looks like. Actors are arranged in positions designed for good camera angles, not good sex, and actresses moan as loud as possible because it sounds good on camera, not because they are overwhelmed with passion.
Porn also gives the impression that everyone likes sex the same way. This becomes a problem if you forget that your real life sex partner is not like every other girl or guy there, and what works for the person on the screen might not necessarily work for them.
In a study done by Christian Grov at Brooklyn College, 17 per cent of women reported feeling some pressure to participate in sexual acts that their partners saw online. Using porn as a source of information and inspiration can be helpful and fun, but not when you ignore the most important source of information: the naked person in front of you!
So what’s the take-home message? Next time you’re doing some one-handed web surfing, feel free to enjoy yourself (and even take a few notes if you’re struck by a wave of inspiration), but when you get out into the real world, remember to take the time to figure out what works for your own sexual relationship.
Sarah Vannier - Sex Columnist
October 19, 2011 6:00 AM ADT
================================================
Almost all of us have seen porn at one point or another, and finding porn is easier than ever before. In the past you had to search for your dad’s stash of Playboys, rent something from the video store, or even pay (gasp!) to access a website.
And it isn’t just easy to find porn. It’s easy to find free, full-length videos, depicting almost anything you want to see. If you’re reading this online right now, you’re probably only three clicks away from a virtual porn buffet. No wonder so many people are watching porn!
So, does all of this porn have an effect on our sex lives? The answer is a resounding yes. Porn definitely shapes the way we think about sex and it does this in good ways and bad ways.
One reason why porn shapes our behaviour is that we can use it as a source of information about sex. Chances are that the sex education you got from your teachers and parents didn’t cover the topics we’re most interested in knowing. We want to know how to do it, what goes where, what feels good, and so on. Porn (for better or for worse) gives us the explicit information we so desperately crave.
There is some evidence that we use porn to fill in those gaps in our sexual knowledge. Martin Weinberg and his colleagues at Indiana University asked college students about how pornography affected their attitudes toward different sexual behaviours and their experiences.
Many of the students said they learned about sexual techniques or sexual positions from porn. Some said watching porn led them to experiment with different things, usually oral or anal sex, and allowed them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality. Porn can also be great for normalizing sexual interests, fantasies, or behaviours that people might have already been doing but felt guilty about.
Unfortunately, there are some downsides to porn and our sex lives. The main problem with using porn as a source of information is that it can be extremely unrealistic. The actresses in pornography have tight bodies, big boobs and zero body hair, while the men have penises well above average size. Some research suggests that being constantly exposed to the big penises in porn may cause men to underestimate their own penis size and decrease their sexual confidence.
Porn gives us unrealistic standards about the way we’re supposed to behave, and often promotes myths and misinformation about sexual behaviour and pleasure. Porn can be completely off base in showing what sexual pleasure looks like. Actors are arranged in positions designed for good camera angles, not good sex, and actresses moan as loud as possible because it sounds good on camera, not because they are overwhelmed with passion.
Porn also gives the impression that everyone likes sex the same way. This becomes a problem if you forget that your real life sex partner is not like every other girl or guy there, and what works for the person on the screen might not necessarily work for them.
In a study done by Christian Grov at Brooklyn College, 17 per cent of women reported feeling some pressure to participate in sexual acts that their partners saw online. Using porn as a source of information and inspiration can be helpful and fun, but not when you ignore the most important source of information: the naked person in front of you!
So what’s the take-home message? Next time you’re doing some one-handed web surfing, feel free to enjoy yourself (and even take a few notes if you’re struck by a wave of inspiration), but when you get out into the real world, remember to take the time to figure out what works for your own sexual relationship.
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thebruns.ca/articles/48583
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