Victim of domestic abuse, she tells them how to fight
NEW DELHI: Forty-six-year-old Kamlesh is reminded of the mental torture she suffered for nearly 10 years after marriage every day as she counsels victims of domestic violence. The pain only strengthens her resolve to fight against the social evil. "You commit a crime against yourself if you accept it silently. It is important to say ‘no I will not take it’," she tells a group of young women.
Associated with Centre for Social Research (CSR) for the past 10 years, Kamlesh has be instrumental in rehabilitating hundreds of domestic violence victims. And even as Kamlesh does not hold any degree in human rights issues, students from various universities in Delhi intern under her to learn the art of counselling.
"I have been through the situation they are facing today. I know the agony. Most women who approach us want the ordeal to end, but are not willing to give up the relationship. These are human emotions. Books can’t teach you the art of counselling. One gets to learn only through real life experiences. And you learn to deal with each case differently," said Kamlesh.
Her day starts with a visit to the slums near her office in Sangam Vihar in south Delhi. But she emphasizes that an equal number of cases come to her from middle class and upper middle class families. "It is shocking, but we see a lot of mental violence cases from middle class families. And it is very tough to achieve reconciliation in these cases," she said. The women from the slums are much more vocal in their opposition to such acts. "They gang up and come to the rescue of the victim. Women from the lower strata of society raise their voice to stop domestic violence. In middle class families, no one comes to save a woman who is being beaten up by her husband."
Lack of awareness about the domestic violence Act, she says, along with the "time-consuming judicial process" are the two main reasons why women suffer so much.
"We try to amicably resolve the matter. But if legal action is required we guide them. We arrange for a lawyer through the legal aid cell. Many women don’t know about it. We explain women how to make their case and what kind of proof to collect while preparing for a legal battle," said Kamlesh, who is a member of the CISF inquiry committee on sexual harassment.
The biggest challenge before her is to rehabilitate women back in their families. In cases where a reconciliation is not possible, she helps the woman get divorce. "If a home can be saved, it must be saved. We always try to counsel the woman and her in-laws. We regularly visit them," she said.
At the end of the day, Kamlesh draws motivation from the satisfaction she gets by rescuing women from the clutches of domestic violence and restoring their dignity.
"I had slipped into depression when my in-laws used to misbehave with me and my children. They never counted me as a part of their family. I still feel the pain," she said.
(the times of india report)
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