Sex, Satisfaction And Salvation

Published: Sunday | November 28, 2010

Carla Dunbar - File

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Dr Glenda P. Simms, Contributor

Consumers of Jamaica's mass media have come to expect the social pages of the dailies to convey the popular definition of the 'sexy', the 'sexual' and the 'sensual'. Oftentimes these concepts are depicted by the drooping arm pits, double chins and welted cheeks of the middle aged and dowager queens of questionable vintage. These ladies are generally lined up beside younger women who pour their bodies into new-age fashions that can best be described as shoulderless bean bags or patterned rice sacks.

In their uptown browning splendour, these ladies are foisted on the Jamaican public as the end point of great sexual appeal, desirability, charm, social success and the ultimate orgasmic experience.

Against this background, it was personally satisfying and intellectually stimulating to learn that 'Sex is worship' on page 2 of the October 24 edition of The Sunday Gleaner. This pronouncement was credited to Carla Dunbar, pastor of the Portland-based Buff Bay and Orange Bay Church of God of Prophecy.

According to Gleaner writer, Mel Cooke, this lady pastor was not shy about discussing the meaning and satisfaction that is inherent in sexual activities. It was refreshing to see a church leader putting her persona forward as the face of the sexual and the desirable. In one swipe, Pastor Dunbar has taken sex out of the corridors of sin.

She points out that in her interpretation of the Song of Solomon and the sexual perspective of the Apostle Paul her erogenous feelings are not part of a "sinful nature". Furthermore, Cooke quoted Pastor Dunbar as saying, "I am comfortable with my sexuality. I am very sexy and sensual and I love it. I have no problem with sex and sexual positions."

Reflection perspective

Pastor Dunbar's sexual perspective has helped to do two things for me. First, it has validated my feminist belief that my sexuality is an inherent reflection of my womanhood, my humanity and my essential link to my spirituality.

Second, it has relieved me from the guilty feelings that I was forced to confront when I ridiculed my ultraconservative 'born again' female relatives.

These are members of my family who are extremely "holier than thou". They wear long-sleeved dresses that are zipped up to their jaw bones. This they do because their natural cleavages must never be seen any anyone. Unlike the dowager queens of Page 2, they do not wear sleeveless dresses.

They are very married but they turn off the lights when they have sex which is always in the missionary position. They sleep in long-sleeved flannel nighties which they claim help them cope with the cool breeze of the Santa Cruz and the Manchester mountains.

Their underwear drawers are packed with white or beige, fully fitted panties. They would never be caught dead or alive in the Victoria Secret sexy numbers which I habitually pack in their Christmas stockings. These they pass on to their helpers or to other sinners like me.

When we gather at the family table, headed by my 91 year-old mother, they always try to put me in my place by pointing out that apart from mother, I and one other sister are the only members of the family who remain firmly rooted in the Anglican Church. They are constantly praying for me to come to my senses, by being 'born again' and finding true salvation on the earthly plane.

These wonderful relatives, who I love dearly, pity my state of mind. I ignore their bleatings and continue to be comfortable with my Anglican affiliation. This connection satisfies both my need for a church family and my need to celebrate my womanhood. This is why my 'holy' relatives scoff at the Anglicans. They say we are "mere churchgoers, not Christians". We need to be born again.

At the upcoming Christmas family gathering, I will wax eloquently on the role of Pastor Dunbar in liberating my uptight, sex-denial, lovable, female relatives.

I will point out to them that this courageous "woman of God" loves thevarious sexual positions. She obviously is not tied to the traditional. She is willing to experiment and expand her sexual horizons.

Every husband, boyfriend, partner and gigolo must welcome the thought of such a sexually liberated woman.

Carla Dunbar underscores my belief that it will take many more courageous women to challenge the stranglehold of the patriarch, especially in the sexual arena.

Historically undervalued

Female sexuality has historically been undervalued, restricted and defined in ways that reinforce the right of the male to control our responses to all aspects of the human experience.

It is for this grand design that girls are still exposed to female-genital mutilation in many societies. It is also in the effort to restrict women'ssexuality and pleasure that sex is often seen as a sinful activity, especially when the objective of the activity is pleasure and not procreation.

This pleasure principle is denied because the patriarch is threatened by the presence of the clitoris which is the only human-body part that the Great Spirit designed exclusively for pleasure.

I would love to be a fly on the walls of the Buff Bay and Orange Bay Church of God of Prophecy when Pastor Dunbar integrates sexuality in her sermons.

I can well imagine her reminding the sisters and the few brothers who gather to worship that the following principles are relevant in the lives of every human being:

• Sex is not just biology, nor is it a focus on a particular body part.
• The sex act must be understood as an act that involves our entire emotional, sensual and intellectual being - our whole self
• It is our sensual and sexual reality that allows us to be unique.
• I can imagine the moanings and groanings in the pews as Pastor Dunbar elaborates on the touches and the pleasurable possibilities of the human body and soul.
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Indeed, if 'sex is worship', this cynical Anglican woman is willing to pursue this form of prayer on a regular basis until Mother God beckons me home.

Dr Glenda P. Simms is a consultant on gender issues. Feedback may be sent to columns@gleanerjm.com

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