Charles Purcell,
November 16, 2010
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So comedian and actor Stephen Fry has been raked over the coals recently for suggesting that men feared or believed that women were less interested in sex than men.
"If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas," he was quoted as saying.
Fry endured the predictable outrage over his comments, even though they were partly tongue in cheek and hardly revolutionary. But was he so wrong to suggest that women might be less interested in sex than men? Is there at least some kernel of truth to that statement? ("Mrs Cat, I'd like to introduce you to Mr Pigeon. You two know each other already? I'll leave you to it then.")
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We could start off by quoting the studies that suggest that men think about sex every three seconds, the sex part of their brain dwarfing the parts devoted to sport and cars or antique furniture, or the studies that say women are looking for long-term relationships rather than casual sex. We could note the lack of a flourishing escort industry for women compared to the multibillion-dollar sex industry devoted to male desires. We could observe the dearth of female equivalents of Playboy or their eventual demise due to lack of readership. We could comment about the absence of women cruising the nightclubs at night with the sole purpose of getting laid on a Friday or Saturday night. We could read the Bettina Arndt-style books that document the strength of the male sex drive compared to that of women. We could point out that people usually found in emergency rooms after unfortunate sex accidents involving costumes or household appliances are overwhelmingly men.
We may wonder about the absence of the female equivalent of Viagra (although the search is on). We could speculate where all the female equivalents of Hooters restaurants are ("Welcome to Pecs, ladies. Would you like to start off with some barbecue chicken wings?") We could muse about how much of men's behaviour is "peacocking" designed to get the attention, preferably sexual, of women (do you think Pharaoh really wanted to build all those pyramids? That he wasn't just doing it to get the attentions of the foxy Cleopatra XXV?)
We could listen to the countless women and men who have both claimed pretty much the same thing, from friends and colleagues to lovers or celebrities. (We could add that Stephen Fry is somewhat of a genius, and who are you to question him?)
I realise to suggest such a thing is something of a heresy in a world populated with articles like "323 ways to achieve female orgasm" and "sex tips so easy even your idiot of a boyfriend can do them" and the ongoing argument in academia over how everything is nurture not nature and that we're really all the same so you might as well let boys dress in pink and play with dolls while girls tool around with Tonka trucks.
I realise that there is a vast bell curve of desire beginning with theBoy George-esque "I'd rather have a nice cup of tea than have sex" crowd. Then there are those who think that sex is jolly nice and the outliers who are constantly in the mood/view sex as the meaning of existence/think the tea-drinking Boy George is mad or needs Viagra.
I realise there are exceptions to these sexual stereotypes and that I personally have known a few joyous female pantswomen who weren't afraid to go out and claim their prizes and brag about their adventures unashamed.
I realise that there is a whole bunch of historical, cultural and social baggage that prevents women from claiming to want sex as much as men and as such any such surveys or pop polls are thus ultimately flawed. I realise that about now someone will point to Sex and the City as some sort of anthropological document and say "See, women want sex as much as men do", believing that the people on the show might actually be real and not the figment of someone's imagination and forgetting that the sexual narrative of the show was driven more by Darren Star, the show's creator, than the original source material. (And that the show was more about female friendship than sex. And that the four women are possibly all a bunch of harpies and that Sarah Jessica Parker really does look like a horse.)
But if you still think you're smarter than Stephen Fry, more power to you.
Charles Purcell is a Fairfax writer.
======================================================
So comedian and actor Stephen Fry has been raked over the coals recently for suggesting that men feared or believed that women were less interested in sex than men.
"If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas," he was quoted as saying.
Fry endured the predictable outrage over his comments, even though they were partly tongue in cheek and hardly revolutionary. But was he so wrong to suggest that women might be less interested in sex than men? Is there at least some kernel of truth to that statement? ("Mrs Cat, I'd like to introduce you to Mr Pigeon. You two know each other already? I'll leave you to it then.")
Advertisement: Story continues below
We could start off by quoting the studies that suggest that men think about sex every three seconds, the sex part of their brain dwarfing the parts devoted to sport and cars or antique furniture, or the studies that say women are looking for long-term relationships rather than casual sex. We could note the lack of a flourishing escort industry for women compared to the multibillion-dollar sex industry devoted to male desires. We could observe the dearth of female equivalents of Playboy or their eventual demise due to lack of readership. We could comment about the absence of women cruising the nightclubs at night with the sole purpose of getting laid on a Friday or Saturday night. We could read the Bettina Arndt-style books that document the strength of the male sex drive compared to that of women. We could point out that people usually found in emergency rooms after unfortunate sex accidents involving costumes or household appliances are overwhelmingly men.
We may wonder about the absence of the female equivalent of Viagra (although the search is on). We could speculate where all the female equivalents of Hooters restaurants are ("Welcome to Pecs, ladies. Would you like to start off with some barbecue chicken wings?") We could muse about how much of men's behaviour is "peacocking" designed to get the attention, preferably sexual, of women (do you think Pharaoh really wanted to build all those pyramids? That he wasn't just doing it to get the attentions of the foxy Cleopatra XXV?)
We could listen to the countless women and men who have both claimed pretty much the same thing, from friends and colleagues to lovers or celebrities. (We could add that Stephen Fry is somewhat of a genius, and who are you to question him?)
I realise to suggest such a thing is something of a heresy in a world populated with articles like "323 ways to achieve female orgasm" and "sex tips so easy even your idiot of a boyfriend can do them" and the ongoing argument in academia over how everything is nurture not nature and that we're really all the same so you might as well let boys dress in pink and play with dolls while girls tool around with Tonka trucks.
I realise that there is a vast bell curve of desire beginning with theBoy George-esque "I'd rather have a nice cup of tea than have sex" crowd. Then there are those who think that sex is jolly nice and the outliers who are constantly in the mood/view sex as the meaning of existence/think the tea-drinking Boy George is mad or needs Viagra.
I realise there are exceptions to these sexual stereotypes and that I personally have known a few joyous female pantswomen who weren't afraid to go out and claim their prizes and brag about their adventures unashamed.
I realise that there is a whole bunch of historical, cultural and social baggage that prevents women from claiming to want sex as much as men and as such any such surveys or pop polls are thus ultimately flawed. I realise that about now someone will point to Sex and the City as some sort of anthropological document and say "See, women want sex as much as men do", believing that the people on the show might actually be real and not the figment of someone's imagination and forgetting that the sexual narrative of the show was driven more by Darren Star, the show's creator, than the original source material. (And that the show was more about female friendship than sex. And that the four women are possibly all a bunch of harpies and that Sarah Jessica Parker really does look like a horse.)
But if you still think you're smarter than Stephen Fry, more power to you.
Charles Purcell is a Fairfax writer.
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