10 Sex spoilsports

Purba Dutt Jun 16, 2011, 12.00am IST

Have you ever wondered why so many women plead headache when the man has his mind and junior set on sex? Though there may not be any surveys to back this up, fact is men initiate sex only when they're ready and in the mood for it. It seldom happens when the woman wants it!

So, this is our revenge to let you know that just because you've turned it on is no reason why we too should get those hormones drooling, dribbling, and working.

Next time, if it's your woman who's getting all horny, don't be a wet blanket by saying your mind's too preoccupied with the next day's board meeting. Just get down, get dirty, get rolling, and, most importantly, get it up. ?

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Here's how you spoil it for women sometimes ?

1. The drama is not only about the final act. Heard of foreplay, folks? So cuddle, coddle, cozy up, caress, cootchie coo.... Where's the hurry?

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2. Sex is not on an ATM, on-the-tap mode....we need warming up time......unlike your little man, who's a bit of a slave!

3. You can't be a klutz with those hooks and straps. Get it right, and do be gentle...

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4. While sex is fun anywhere, we like things to be organized ?and as free of mess as a spontaneous? act will allow

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5. For you it could be just a release, for us it's all tied up with emotions, head, and heart... so know that our responses will always be more thought through and, therefore, possibly slow. Don't get impatient... when everything gets working (read aroused), it's all yours to enjoy. ?

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6. Size may matter to some, but what matters most is that it's happy to see us! We know when this is so, and we know when the fellow's being temperamental and bad mannered!

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7. Even during love-making, we love to talk... so don't expect us to go through the motions and acrobatics in hushed silence...

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8. We also like sweet nothings whispered into our ears, or shouted out loud... we sometimes fake orgasms (didn't they tell you!), but we make it appear like the real thing. Get the drift?

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9. When it comes to creativity, you can't be wondering where we got our little tricks from. We don't unnecessarily stress over your digressions from routine/habit, so there...

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10. Act over, and everyone can go home. Why does it have to be this way? We like a logical conclusion. A climax isn't a conclusion. Remember, there's a curtain call, and everyone's thanked!

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