A mother reflects
Thursday , December 29, 2011 at 14 : 34
===================================================It's that time of the year again when you sit by yourself and take stock of the 365 days gone by. Another year of your life gone or well lived? Did you get what you set out to achieve or did the year just pass by like many other things which exist but aren't noticed?
Strangely I remember this year as a year of many milestones in terms of my baby. What I did or achieved personally doesn't even occur in the scheme of things. Is this the selflessness people talk about which mothers have? Have I become an extension of her rather than vice versa or is it that her milestones are my success too as I have been a big part of them - either striving for them myself or helping her achieve them?
For one, my daughter set out from the confines of my arms and home. She entered school. As I worried myself to death on how she would manage, she not only survived but also became the dancing star right on the first day.
Many lost tiffin boxes, viral infections and lots of exciting months later, I can safely say that she has done better than what I expected of her. And my proudest moment was when she narrated all the seven continents to me without any error. Oh my! I didn't know she was learning so much at school. Her settling in school was a double bonanza of milestones.
She survived without me and I learnt that she could survive without me, well almost. Even today once I drop her off, I keep looking at the clock to see when she will be back!
Another super achievement was to wean her off her milk bottle. While I expected huge tantrums and cries, all I had to do was tell her that the fairy godmother took it away and she accepted that as easily as she accepts a chocolate. Wow! Why didn't I give her credit earlier? Was I underestimating her ability to accept changes? I felt bad for not trying earlier. Why did I have to decide that she would not agree to it or it was too early for her?
Sia is growing up and as a parent, there's no greater joy than seeing your little baby grow well. Over the years, I wonder how many of her favourite things will I have to wean her off, saying the fairy godmother took it or decide for her that its too early?
Her first fight with her best friend, her first crush, her first kiss, her first heartbreak, so many things she will have to learn and many I cannot shield her from. That kind of makes me feel helpless, the things you know your child is going to go through but you cannot do anything.
Probably you can just impart her the wisdom to go through it wisely and come out of it intact. Will she take after you in handling challenges or will she devise her own methods to handle them?
As I reflect on the year gone by, I realise that she has already grown up manifold in one year. Earlier I used to give her solace, now she offers comfort. Before we kept a watch on her, now she looks after us.
Last year she needed my help to tie her shoe laces, this year she insists she will do it on her own. Last year I was her favourite person, this year it's Shah Rukh Khan. Sigh!
By this standard, I just pray and hope and wish that I am never pushed to the last one on the list. I am not very good at playing second fiddle. But then children teach you the very same things you were never very good at. Guess I have my own growing up to do. At 37, that seems quite a task!
A lot of cheers and good tidings for the new year to all my readers.Till my next post! You can write to me at http://mammamania.in
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