Learning How to Support Infertile Men, Women
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This week was infertility awareness week. Are you aware that one in eight people have infertility, and know how to support them?
Infertility causes heavy emotional, physical, financial and relationship burdens. Although there have been incredible strides in the diagnosis and treatment of infertility, many couples still struggle with unknown outcomes and the "taboo" diagnosis of fertility problems, which often keeps them from sharing their struggles.
According to the National Institutes for Health: Primary infertility describes couples who have never become pregnant after one year of unprotected intercourse and secondary infertility describes couples who have been pregnant at least once, but have not been able to become pregnant again.
Infertility may also include those people who have become pregnant, but sadly are unable to carry a pregnancy to term.
The known causes include:
Age -- Fertility decreases over age 35. Pregnancy rates drop to less than 10 percent per month over age 40. That said, people in their 20s can have infertility.
A BMI under 18 or over 35 – this issue stops as soon as someone gains or loses weight.
Structural and hormonal abnormalities which affect sperm, ovulation, or implantation of an embryo.
Smoking,
drug or alcohol abuse.
Autoimmune disorders (such as Celiac or Lupus)
History of pelvic infections.
Genetic abnormalities.
Twenty percent of infertility is “unexplained." This is particularly tough for healthy couples because there is no issue to target treatment.
Tracy Gentile of Milford Regional Medical Center's Infertility Center has 15 years of infertility nursing experience in supporting patients going through the testing, appointments, medications and emotional highs and lows of infertility. “We want every patient to receive 100 percent individual support," she said. “Although our goal is to help everyone conceive, we have cautious optimism." According to Gentile, the center has had more than 600 fertility cycles and at least 400 pregnancies since the program started in 2006.
Support from loved ones can be unpredictable, especially if the friends have never had fertility issues or if there are religious and ethical barriers. Gentile explained chat rooms might be easier than support groups for some because “when someone conceives, the support group has an empty chair which can cause the members left behind to be frustrated, angry and sad.”
My patients have asked that I tell my readers some of the things NOT to say:
Autoimmune disorders (such as Celiac or Lupus)
History of pelvic infections.
Genetic abnormalities.
Twenty percent of infertility is “unexplained." This is particularly tough for healthy couples because there is no issue to target treatment.
Tracy Gentile of Milford Regional Medical Center's Infertility Center has 15 years of infertility nursing experience in supporting patients going through the testing, appointments, medications and emotional highs and lows of infertility. “We want every patient to receive 100 percent individual support," she said. “Although our goal is to help everyone conceive, we have cautious optimism." According to Gentile, the center has had more than 600 fertility cycles and at least 400 pregnancies since the program started in 2006.
Support from loved ones can be unpredictable, especially if the friends have never had fertility issues or if there are religious and ethical barriers. Gentile explained chat rooms might be easier than support groups for some because “when someone conceives, the support group has an empty chair which can cause the members left behind to be frustrated, angry and sad.”
My patients have asked that I tell my readers some of the things NOT to say:
Anything along the lines of “relax," "Take a vacation," “Have a glass of wine” or “You should adopt and then you’ll get pregnant." Think about it. Wine and vacations don’t fix structural, hormonal and genetic abnormalities nor does having one child resolve these issues. Adoption is a huge emotional and financial roller coaster that some people are not ready to ride.
“You can take my kids” or “I wish I had that problem.” Although an attempt at humor, it isn’t funny to anyone with infertility. You aren’t going to give away your children and there are many ways to prevent pregnancies.
“You’re young. It will happen." If the experts can't promise this, how can you?
“There’s probably a good reason." Makes one wonder if there would be a monster born if they conceive and what is the good reason for those who conceive who then abuse their children?
My patients asked that you DO say “I am here when you need me." Let them talk, send a note to let them know you care, try not to judge their feelings or the way they decide to approach their condition. Offer to go to appointments with them and share resources, including http://resolve.org/.
Do you have a story about infertility ~ please share your story and help the readers to know how to support their loved ones.
(source:http://milford-ma.patch.com)
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