Curves in all the wrong places

Nechama Brodie | 09 October, 2011 01:21

timeslive.co.za

previousnext

• 1
• 2
• 3

Kids have always loved playing dress-up, but as padded bras and make-up become commonplace, Nechama Brodie wonders whether little girls are being encouraged to grow up too soon

Sugar and spice and all things nice. That's what little girls used to be made of. These days nice won't get you very far (and you'd have to swap the sugar for non-nutritive sweeteners) - you'd need to throw in some self-tan, a couple of sequins or glitter, maybe a few hair extensions ... and how about a push-up bra while you're at it?

After all, it must be tough to get your own reality show when you look like ... you know ... a kid. Take four-year-old Maddy Jackson, whose mom entered her into a toddler beauty pageant wearing fake C-cup breasts under her pink lycra dress so she could mimic her "icon", Dolly Parton.

Or 10-year-old Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau, who shunned chicken fillets (silicone bra inserts) to wear a revealing plunge-necked gold lamé evening gown for French Vogue ...

Sex sells. Even, it seems, when you're barely old enough to spell s-e-x.

Last year a British parenting website, Mumsnet, launched a national campaign called "Let Girls Be Girls" in response to members' concerns that "an increasingly sexualised culture was dripping, toxically, into the lives of children". The campaign asked retailers to commit not to sell products that played upon, exploited or emphasised children's sexuality - including things such as T-shirts with sexy or provocative slogans, grown-up heels for little girls and "children's underwear which mimics adult lingerie".

There was sufficient concern and public outcry for the UK Department for Education to commission an independent review looking into the "Commercialisation and Sexualisation of Childhood", which presented its findings in June this year.

The review found that "sexualised and gender-stereotyped clothing, products and services for children" were one of the biggest areas of concern for parents and that "by far the most contentious issue where clothing is concerned has been the availability of bras and bikini-style swimwear for under-16s". Items that had been singled out (by consumers and the media) included push-up bras and padded bikini tops for girls as young as eight.

Similar products are commonly available in South Africa - under-wired and padded bras with little silver hearts or lace trim, clipped on tiny hangers that read "9-10 yrs". Many have little stickers promising "matching underwear".

Even, as the British report points out, "common sense tells us that under-16s are bound to need swimwear and bras at some stage during their childhood", it's hard not to notice how adult-like kids' underwear has become, as if the cute and flirty items in the women's section a few metres away have simply been replicated in miniature.

Padded bras for young girls have been available for several years in South Africa and during that time, Brett Kaplan, Woolworths' group director: clothing and general merchandise, says the store has received only "a few complaints". In a statement, Woolworths says it "tries to ensure that our childrenswear ranges are age-appropriate", adding it does not sell items such as G-strings for children, and that bras (padded and non-padded) are "sold by size and not age and are aimed at the developing teenager".

Ackermans, which also stocks padded bras in the children's section, offers pretty much the same line: "We stock a modesty bra that is manufactured with light moulded padding for privacy," says an official response from the store's marketing department. "These bras are available in sizes 28 - 36 AA and are not age-specific. This is a functional item for the girl who is buying her first bra and needs as much privacy as possible during the changes in her life."

Woolworths says: "Parents have asked for padded bras for their developing adolescents, as the padded bras create a smoother silhouette when worn under clothing," and that they "have also had requests from parents for smaller sizes than the ones currently stocked."

Samantha Paterson, brand manager of Wonderbra, confirms there is a demand globally for smaller back sizes, and that "this doesn't mean the bras are necessarily for young girls". She explains that in South Africa there is a small but definite market, particularly adult Indian and black women, who measure a size 28 (Wonderbra sizes only start at a 32 back) who are often not catered for.

As for younger buyers, Paterson says she doesn't think "girls as young as eight or nine are looking to enhance their cup size by wearing padded bras, simply that they feel awkward and prefer to wear a bra that covers their nipples and makes them look as inconspicuous as possible".

Not surprisingly, most retail stores are keen to extol their commitment to "family values" - but it's hard to buy the "privacy and modesty" line when so many of the bras in the children's section are made in eye-catchingly bright colours or decorated with neon patterns - and when they're clearly designed to create shape more than just provide cover.

Dorothy Black, sex writer for Women24, posted a series of indignant statements on Twitter earlier this year when she spotted what she considered to be an inappropriately adult bra in a store's children's section. "The bra I saw wasn't moulded, it was underwired, padded, cut in a way that would push a girl's boobs up and give her cleavage. I chatted to some of the mothers in the store, and asked them if they would buy such a bra for their own daughters. One of them told me her child wasn't old enough yet (the child was three), but that when her daughter was old enough, and if she asked for it, she'd buy it.

The question is: would girls ask for those bras if they didn't see them?"

Ackermans says sales in children's bras have "not increased in the last few years". Woolworths, on the other hand, observes only that it continues to "see growth in all bra categories". Indeed.

It's a classic chicken and egg: are clothing manufacturers driving demand by supplying certain products, or are they simply accommodating consumer demand by giving us what we want?

Wilmien Lederle, buying manager at Foschini, says that even though the store doesn't stock children's underwear, there is a demand from smaller children who want to look like an older sibling, or their mother. "Some of our bestselling styles are small versions of our ladieswear."

Lederle says Foschini's look is "quite conservative", but adds that the store does stock items like high-heeled shoes for girls as young as four or five - and that the 5cm heels often sell better than the (flat) pumps.

What is true is that, globally, girls are experiencing the onset of puberty at an increasingly young age. A recent study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that the "proportion of girls who had breast development at ages seven and eight years, particularly among white girls, is greater than that reported from studies of girls who were born 10 to 30 years earlier." A separate study in Denmark noted that between 1993 and 2008 - a period of only 15 years - the average age at which breast tissue appeared in girls had declined from 10.88 years to 9.86 years.

This "progressively earlier maturation" has been attributed to a number of social and environmental factors, including higher body mass in young girls (a high BMI seems to kick-start hormones associated with puberty).

But while girls may look more mature, researchers stress they're still the same mentally (as other seven- or eight-year-olds) - and they're ill-equipped to handle the way society may respond to their changing shape, particularly when it comes to sexual advances. There's also, conversely, the undeniable social pressure (or tacit encouragement) on young girls to look older, sexier.

Plastic and reconstructive surgeon DrSaul Braun says that the age of girls who come to him asking about breast augmentation gets "earlier and earlier every year".

"Usually they only come asking for bigger breasts after the age of 15. The gold standard is you shouldn't perform an augmentation on anyone under the age of 17," he says. "Generally they're not mature enough to understand the implications before then. Why do they do it? They want to be attractive to the opposite sex. It's as simple as that. They're not doing it for themselves at that age. They want the feeling of being liked, of being attractive."

More disconcerting, says Braun, is that many of the younger women - those between 18 and 30 - coming to him for cosmetic work, specifically ask for a "fake look", particularly with their breasts. "They find it sexy," he says, "because it's in the newspapers, in the magazines. The Americans want to look like they have 'been done'. There's a feeling that it's not worth it if it doesn't look fake. It's no longer about the art of beauty."

Braun comments that "parents aren't bothering with their children's holistic wellbeing. They're not being parents anymore. They can afford carers, but there's no caring."

It's not a new concept, that the parent-child relationship - specifically mothers and daughters - has a strong influence on a young girl's own body image. Braun says he often sees (adolescent) girls who have "fixated on almost invisible imperfections in their bodies" and who nag their mothers until the mother presses the doctor to "fix this thing".

In those cases, Braun says, he recommends therapy rather than surgery for the child. "Sometimes the mother doesn't accept what I have to say. In the majority of these cases, the mother is also dysmorphic."

Braun says the other type of issue he sees is where a child is happy with the way she looks but the mother is embarrassed about her daughter's appearance. "They want me to do liposuction on their children so that it will kick-start the kid into looking after her own figure," he says. In those cases, he believes it's the mother who needs to see a psychologist.

"It is hard for parents," says clinical psychologist Vanessa Hemp, who works with children and adolescents and is a mother of two girls. "Parents and children are dealing with emerging sexuality at an increasingly earlier age - not that children are having sex, but they want to be alluring and interesting to people of the opposite sex. The difficulty is, when a young girl dresses in adult-type clothing, it sends mixed messages the kids aren't even aware of, and there are predatory people out there.

"I'm not taking responsibility away from a person who is pathological, who has paedophiliac tendencies. But do you want your child to get the message that that is the primary way to get attention? By dressing in a provocative way?"

Black says it's tricky attaching sexuality to something that's being worn. "If an older woman wears a mini-skirt and fishnets and gets unwelcome attention, we say it's inappropriate because it's just clothes. We teach different standards to kids. But the truth is, for kids it does need to be mediated by an adult." She adds: "Sexuality is something that's innate in all of us. The age a girl starts coming to grips with her sexuality is different for everyone, and can start very young. But what is 'sexy' - that's not the same thing. That's a social construct."

Author Fiona Snyckers, who is a mother of three children, including an 11-year-old girl, says she understands "concerns about the premature sexualisation of pubescent girls".

However, she says, "I don't think current fashions in girls' underwear are part of the problem. When I was a child, a girl's developing body was something to be hidden, and buying your first bra was a grim, matter-of-fact business. I remember being able to choose between two unexciting shades of beige.

"Today, girls can choose from a range of pretty, lacy, beribboned underwear that celebrates their changing bodies rather than teaching them to be ashamed of their womanhood. Obviously, this can be taken too far. But I wish I were choosing my first bra today rather than back in the bad old Beige days."

Hemp says it is important to allow children to participate in making decisions - but that these should be manageable, small things appropriate for their age. "If my five-year-old daughter asked me for a bra, I'd say no. She's not the decision-maker."

Hemp adds that parents should be "clear about their own values, and have the courage of their convictions. Children won't like hearing 'no' and will push against it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong - it opens up conversation. Parents must get involved, they must mediate, discuss. Not shut down. This should be the beginning of a conversation with your child about sexuality and sex."

Black agrees that parents have a big role to play - and that parents and retailers need to take responsibility and engage with the issue.

"What age should you start speaking with your kids about sexuality? Right now. Everybody else is already talking to your child about sex - movies, magazines, TV shows, marketers ... The only people not talking to their kids about it are the parents. There's such a drive to treat children as equals that parents have stopped being gatekeepers.

"We've also stopped honouring time; we don't honour rituals, honour stages like puberty. Look at how young the models are in magazines. Our drive for youth has become so perverse. We're not comfortable with ageing. We're making caricatures of women, and we should be having conversations."

=================================================

timeslive.co.za/lifestyle/2011/10/09/curves-in-all-the-wrong-places