Thursday, October 13, 2011

Sexual Education.

Does the world need sexual education?
October 14, 2011 - 10:17AM

Wednesday’s blog about an enterprising virgin considering professional tutelage in carnal knowledge blew more thought bubbles than a left-wing stoner digesting Proust.

But there was one string of thinkings that clicked my gears into motion more than others; that starting out with a so-called sex expert would only leave our young lady disappointed with the "real thing".

What a tragic indictment of unprofessional lovers! Surely you don’t have to make sex your trade to get good at it?

Yet when I consider the uptightness that governs so many corners of contemporary debate, including this blog from time to time, I realise perhaps the judgement is fair - perhaps we really do suck at doing sex.

Readers had different definitions about what made sex good. Some people spoke of physical satisfaction, others of emotional closeness. For others it was the whole package.

Personally, I think any sex that isn’t about connecting with another person is sex best had by yourself; I’ve had shitty, angry sex before which was little more than some sort of glorified exercise in mutual masturbation. Both parties are aware this is a selfish act, and both parties are left more frustrated and less close than before they began.

This is probably why I consider sex and lovemaking to be the same thing. I don’t think they have to be. But I think it’s desirable to include emotions in the physical act. I worry sometimes people who leave their heart at the door are simply afraid to put it on the line for fear it will be irrevocably damaged.

I get that. But I think fear makes you hard, and separates you from others. I think there are a lot of people cordoned off in petrified shells of their own creation. I believe they’ll struggle with happiness, that they won’t know peace.

And there is a lot of conflict in the world, a lot of misery. Look at London, at Wall Street. Look at the smallness of political debate in Australia, of pain and suffering in starving countries. There’s all these burdens, debts, invasions of privacy, demands on our time, breakdowns of family, epidemics of obesity and shocking statistics about mental health. People are violent, people are divided. People don’t smile at each other on the street anymore.
So how could we possibly be good at loving when there’s so much bad in the world?

Education is often cited as a cure for social ill. Do we need better schooling on love and sex and relating to other people? Sex is not taught as comprehensively as English for instance, but I believe there’s a case to be made for intimacy literacy.

I believe there’s a need to learn about how to relate to our own bodies so we may better relate to others – a need for critical awareness of social messages to better sift fiction from fact.

We need better sex-ed at schools, in homes, and across the community at large.

But how? How do you teach love? How do you teach love if you’ve never really known it?

I’d like to begin with dancing. Shouldn’t everyone have the chance to see how bodies can fit together and move, pleasurably, in harmony, to beautiful music …

When it comes to sex, do you think we have a problem? How did you learn about lovemaking? Do you think you’re any good, and why?
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***8.39am QLD TIME

Hey guys,
Just saw this and couldn't resist adding...

A sex guide from Malaysia's Obedient Wives

Not exactly the kind of education I'm thinking of, but interesting to note the proactivity...
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.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/blogs/citykat/does-the-world-need-sexual-education-20111013-1ln2b.html#ixzz1aiK1vQlk

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Paula Goodyer - Chew on This


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