Summary And Review of How to Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie
This summary was prepared by Colleen Romano while a Management Major in the College of Business at Southeastern Louisiana University.
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a self-help book by Dale Carnegie that was first published in Great Britain in 1948. He wrote this book because he claims that he was one of the unhappiest “lads” in New York. Mr. Carnegie was so displeased with his own life that he wanted to figure out how to stop worrying and that is what inspired him to write this book. All of the suggestions and ideas listed in this book are not originally thought of by Mr. Carnegie. He consulted many famous people throughout the years for the advice and then compiled the information into this book.
The book begins with Mr. Carnegie explaining the many fundamental facts that everyone should know about worry and offers techniques on how to analyze worry. The book explains how you should break the worry habit before it breaks you and how you should live for the moment. The author offers suggestions on how we should cultivate a mental attitude that will bring ourselves peace and happiness in our lives. Mr. Carnegie believes that our life is what our thoughts make it. Therefore if you fill your mind with pleasant thoughts then you will become a pleasant person. We should live for the moment and stop worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. The book also talks about how you should never try to get even with your enemies because you will only hurt yourself more. You should never waste a minute thinking about people that you do not like. Mr. Carnegie explains how life is too short and that we should count our blessings.
Mr. Carnegie believes that you should tackle your worries head-on and quickly. He feels that you can still anticipate problems and plan for them without necessarily worrying. The book talks about how when worry enters your head, you should immediately address or resolve it somehow, and then let it go.
Mr. Carnegie also talks a great deal about how to keep from worrying about criticism. He explains how unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment and that it often means that you have caused jealousy and envy in someone else. He explains how we should do the best we can in life and to not worry what other people think. In addition, the book explains how we should accept constructive criticism.
At the end of the book, explanations on how to prevent fatigue and worry and how to keep our energy and spirits high are mentioned. Great tips are listed in this book to help you to relax more. He talks about how you should rest before you get tired and as a result you will become more productive throughout the day. You should relax at home as well as at work. The author stresses how important it is to do things in the order of their importance and learn to prioritize. It also talks about how you can prevent worry and fatigue by putting enthusiasm into your work. Regardless if it is homework, housework, or your job, you should still try and make it fun. Another important suggestion that Mr. Carnegie talks about is how no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. Many people stay awake at night worrying. If you learn to stop worrying then you will be able to sleep at night.
The back of the book has true stories of people who were on their death bed from worrying. Many of them learned techniques from this book and were able to overcome their worrying problems. It’s a terrific book and everyone can benefit from reading it.
The Top Ten Things to be Learned
1. Managers should become caring to their employees.
2. Managers will become successful by becoming more confident.
3. Managers should write down their problems and concerns and get all the facts before making a decision with their business.
4. Managers will learn how to improve on dealing with customers by not worrying about the small stuff.
5. Tips listed in the book will help managers to becoming more responsible and more productive.
6. The book says that we should rest. Therefore, Managers should allow their employees to take naps at work.
7. Managers should give and receive constructive criticism
8. Managers should prioritize their work and delegate as needed to avoid worry.
9. Managers should improve on their organizational skills and keep their work area neat and clean.
10. Managers should allow their employees to have fun while at work.
Full Summary: How To Stop Worrying and Start Living
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a self-help book by Dale Carnegie that was first published in Great Britain in 1948. He wrote this book because he claims that he was one of the unhappiest “lads” in New York. Mr. Carnegie was so displeased with his own life that he wanted to figure out how to stop worrying. He decided to quit his job and started teaching disadvantaged adults at the YMCA. During the day he did what he had a passion for and that was to write books. All of the suggestions and ideas listed in this book are not originally thought of by Mr. Carnegie. He consulted many famous people throughout the years for the advice and then compiled the information into this book. The information in this book is not new information for any of us. Anyone who reads this book should already be familiar with what it has to offer. You will not learn anything new, however it is an excellent way for us to become reinforced on certain techniques for overcoming the worry habit.
The book is broken down into six different sections all of which explains his methods and techniques for eliminating worry. The end of the book has true stories that people wrote with proof that these techniques work and testify how they overcame their worry and started living. This is a very inspiring book for everyone to read. The most negative individual could certainly benefit from reading this book and make their life more fulfilling.
Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry
The book begins by explaining how we should live in “Day tight compartments” by shutting the doors from yesterday and the doors for tomorrow. Basically what this means is that we should not worry about yesterday or worry about what is going to happen tomorrow but to live for today. If you are consumed in your past or constantly worried about your future then you are not living. What ever happened yesterday is gone and over. Whatever is happen tomorrow is not yet here. You need to live in the present time which is today.
Mr. Carnegie then goes on to explain how we should face trouble by asking ourselves “What is the worst thing that could possibly happen”. We should all prepare to accept the worst and then try to improve on the worst. Mr. Carnegie explains in his book how exorbitant the price is that we can pay for worry in terms of our health. Some of the health problems that are created from worry include hair loss, nausea, ulcers, cancer, and even death. There are many more to list and oblivious cannot list them all.
Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry
The next section of the book talks about several techniques for analyzing worry. Mr. Carnegie explains how we should first get all the facts about the situation that we are worrying about. We should then weigh all the facts and come to a decision. Ounce a decision is reached we should act on it. Another method that is mentioned is that we should write out our problems on paper. By putting it in writing we are letting the problem out and this is a form of therapy. The book talks about how you should take the problems that you wrote down and stick it in a draw. Take the paper out of the draw in a few weeks and you will find that in many cases the problem or problems will fix itself. Another tip that the book talks about is that after writing the problems down, you should write out the answer to the following questions:
What is the problem? What are the causes of the problem? What are the possible solutions? What is the best possible solution?
Having your problems in writing can make a big difference with helping you think through a solution. In addition, Mr. Carnegie also suggests that you talk to a friend with your problems. Just having someone listen to you may be all that you need to overcome whatever it is that is worrying you.
Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
The next section of the book gives excellent advice on certain habits that we should break that will help us eliminate worry. The author begins by suggesting how we should keep ourselves busy. By keeping busy with our lives then we shouldn’t have time to worry. He gave a good example in his book as to how a man was so distraught over the death of one of his children that he was unable to function. It wasn’t until one day his four year old begged him to build a model car with him that he learned to stop thinking about what was bothering him. It took several days to build the model car and during that time he was too busy to worry about his misfortune in life. So this is a good example of how we should keep busy. Having too much idle time only makes you think too much and if you are pessimistic then you will think negative thoughts. Therefore, I agree with the author that you should stay busy when you are worried.
The author explains how we should not “fuss about trifles”. What this simple means is for us to not worry about the small things in life. Mr. Carnegie explains how we should use the law of averages to outlaw our worries. This means that we need to analyze the situation and think about what the probability is of something happening to us. For example, what is the probability dying from a car wreck or in an airplane? If the probability is very low from past averages then we need to convince ourselves to not worry about it.
The author goes on to explain how we need to cooperate with the inevitable. Some things in life we do not have any control over. For example, will we get another bad hurricane like Katrina? Will a shark attack us while swimming in the Florida beaches? Certain things we do not have any control over and therefore should not waste precious time thinking about it.
This book explains how we should decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more. Basically we should only worry about something for a limited amount of time and then let it go. The author talks about how we should not worry about the past. Whatever has happened in the past is gone and you need to not waste time pondering over it. You cannot change the past and Mr. Carnegie says to move on.
Cultivate a Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness
Mr. Carnegie believes that you should fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope. He explains in his book that you are what you feel. A person that constantly thinks of happy and cheerful thoughts will become a happy a cheerful individual. He explains how “our life is what our thoughts make it.”
The book gives great advice on how you should never try to get even with your enemies. He says that if we do then we are only hurting ourselves far more than we hurt them. You should never waste a minute thinking about people that you do not like. You must somehow develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
The next section in the book talks about how we should expect ingratitude therefore you should not worry about it. The book explains how we should remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude but to give for the joy of giving. Gratitude is a cultivated trait and if you want your children to be grateful then we must teach them to be grateful.
Another good pointer that the book had was how we should all “Count our Blessings” Many people today feel sorry for themselves because they do not have what other people have. However, if they took a moment to reflect on what they truly have they would find that they are truly blessed and do have actually more than many other people in this world.
Another great pointer that Mr. Carnegie gives is how we should not imitate others. We should just be ourselves in live and that “envy is ignorance” and “imitation is suicide.”
Mr. Carnegie talks about how when fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make a lemonade. Basically what this means is that we should all take a bad situation and make the best of it. When life gives you a sour lemon then you should add some sugar to it and make it into delicious sweet lemonade. An unpleasant situation at times can be turned around into something more positive.
The book also explains how we should forget our own unhappiness. He gives suggestions on how if we work towards making someone else happy then we would forget about our own unhappiness. We should certainly try and create a little happiness for someone else. “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself”
Mr. Carnegie continues with his book and explains how his parents used prayer to over come their worry. He says that prayer helps us to put into words exactly what is troubling us. Prayer also gives us a sense of sharing our burdens of not being alone. In addition, prayer puts into force an active principle of doing. With all of these benefits, prayer is a good way to conquer worry.
Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
This book has many wonderful suggestions on how to prevent from becoming fatigue and how to feel more energized. The first suggestion is to rest before you get tired. If possible, a short nap during the day can make a difference in your energy level. This book also suggest that you should learn to relax at your work. The author talks about how work should not be a full eight hour day of stress. You should be able to relax while you are at you job. You should also protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home. In addition to the above, the book suggests that you follow the four working habits listed below:
- Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand. - Do things in the order of their importance. - When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make decisions. - Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
The book continues with the suggestion of putting enthusiasm into your work. He says if you are bored with what you are doing then you should try and make it fun. This should include homework, your job, and housework. The last suggestion is to not worry about insomnia. Mr. Carnegie explains in his book how no one has ever died from insomnia. He says that if you are having trouble sleeping then you should try reading a book, exercising, praying, and or relaxing your body. All this suggestions have been proven to help you sleep.
“How I Conquered Worry”
The last part of the book has 31 true stories from various people who were able to overcome their worry sickness. All of the stories explained how at least one of the techniques mentioned in the book were utilized to help them. One individual was actually on his deathbed from not eating due to worry. This person was a workaholic and did not know how to relax. He finally made it out of the hospital and took a vacation for the first time. He began to gain back all the weight that he lost and felt better than he ever did in the 20 years of working. This is proof as to the harm of how worrying can harm us. Everyone needs a vacation for rest and relaxation and this particular story in the book was a great example.
Dale Carnegie was very brilliant compiling the information that he has in this book. While the information is not originally from him, he still gets the credit for putting it all together in a simple and easy to read book. This was a good book and I highly recommend it to everyone to read.
Personal Insights
Dale Carnegie was a brilliant author. I feel that his book demonstrates that worry was very much alive in the 1940’s as it is today. All the suggestions and techniques that are listed in his book to overcome worry will never go out of style. Mr. Carnegie did not personally create the stress reducing suggestions, however he is brilliant from how he took the time to gather the info and compose this book.
I’ll apply what I’ve learned in this book in my career by utilizing several tips of advice that Mr. Carnegie offers. For example, I will cultivate a mental positive attitude while searching for a job. I will not let the small things in life upset me and I will accept constructive criticism as a compliment. I will think and act cheerfully towards my coworkers which in turn will make me cheerful. I will never try to get even with my coworkers no matter how difficult they may be. (Every workplace has at least one bully) And last but not least, the book reinforced to me the importance of being yourself in life and not to try and imitate someone that you are not.
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To contact the author of this summary/review, please email Colleen Romano at colleen.Romano@selu.edu. David C. Wyld (dwyld@selu.edu) is the Robert Maurin Professor of Management at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, Louisiana. He is a management consultant, researcher/writer, and executive educator. His blog, Wyld About Business, can be viewed at http://wyld-business.blogspot.com/. He also has a book summary/review blog that is a collection of his students’ works at http://wyld-about-books.blogspot.com/.
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