Parenting Secrets:

Dr. Laura Secret #2, 

Reading Books

Without a doubt, I think reading books with or to your children is one of the single most important and best things you can do in parenthood.  If you are talking about a new baby – perhaps you have an infant or a child under the age of one, by all means start this habit early.  Because very, very early on, even in the newborn period when your child can't understand the exact words that you're saying to them, reading can provide such a great experience.  It's a bonding experience.  You can hold your baby in your lap and newborns love to hear the sound of their parent's voice.  It creates a really nice, warm environment and experience for your child. 

As your child gets a little older, they actually do start to understand a bit more about what's going on as you read a book.  By the age of four months when babies are starting to be able to hold their heads upright and maybe sit a little bit more upright in your lap, they will stare at items on a page and they will see them as you turn the pages.  Babies particularly like books with baby's faces on them, with bright colors. Babies also like red, white and black and the contrast really makes things more obvious to them.  During that first year your child will simply enjoy spending the time with you.  And again, it's not just a reading experience.  It's a bonding experience for the two of you. 

The other reason I like reading in terms of starting it very early is because it is a healthy habit and habits that start early are the ones that are most likely to be accepted by your child.  They won't know anything different and there's no such thing as too early to start.  I also like to use books at bedtime because they can help with a healthy bedtime routine.  In fact I, for all three of my children, used books as my queue that it was time for my children to go to sleep.  And that meant we weren't using a bottle or breastfeeding or rocking or driving around the block or any of those other things that sometimes become a child's queue to fall asleep.  Instead, we would have the kids take their bath and then we’d all curl up and we would read books and that was their queue that it was time to go to sleep. 

You can't force a child to fall asleep short of drugging them and I do not endorse drugging children to sleep.  You can't make them fall asleep, but you can make them stay in bed.  Even if that means they bring 50 books to bed with them, more power to them.  It's a great lifelong habit. 

The other thing about reading is that we know that children who are read to before they go to kindergarten and then read to consistently onward have larger vocabularies.  They understand language better.  They understand the process of storytelling and paying attention to what's first, what comes next, those sorts of things that we take for granted as adults.  But a lot of elementary school is based on those certain skills and listening skills and attention and all sorts of things you can't teach with a flashcard, but years worth of being read to in early childhood can make a world of difference. 

In fact,  a lot of people say that we spend the first few years of our lives or of school learning to read and the rest of our lives reading to learn.  Reading is what makes all of us able to communicate well.  It also helps us with speaking, which is the other part of communication and we can learn about anything we want.  So giving your child a warm loving experience with books early on and then continuing so it's a part of their daily routine is wonderful. 

I also want to emphasize that it's one thing to tell your child to read and to make sure that you read aloud to them, but nothing sends a stronger message than if you are a reader as well.  And don't be intimidated.  If you didn't grow up reading a lot of books and it's not part of your daily routine, which is a lot of parents, don’t make excuses. Try making books and reading books a part of your routine as well because even if your toddler sees you reading they will process that as something that you just do.  As your kids get older you can celebrate the milestone the day that your children are able to read to themselves and then you can sit and read quietly together. 

My last point often gets overlooked. Remember that the level at which your children can read to themselves is going to be much lower than the level that they can listen to that you read aloud. This is especially true if you've been reading to them for years.  So a kindergartner, first grade age child might be able to read a first grade, second grade or even third grade level book, but may be very intent on listening to you read at a fifth grade reading level.  So don't give up your habit of reading aloud, even when your child's able to read. Make reading a part of your everyday routine, your child's every day routine and a lifelong healthy habit as one of the most important things you can do in parenting.  
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