Unleashing the animal within
June 1, 2011 - 10:44AM
Sure, it may sound like the drivel of a certain breed of pulp fiction sycophant, but rest assured, dear reader, when I say my newfound belief werewolves make desirable sex symbols has squat to do with a moody teenage heroine.
Instead, it’s got everything to do with a recent ‘a-ha’ (some might say 'no sh*t') moment that came by way of one Stephen Snyder, MD, Central Park West.
This writing of his got me thinking.
June 1, 2011 - 10:44AM
Katherine Feeney is a blogger, multimedia guru and entertainment reporter
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Sure, it may sound like the drivel of a certain breed of pulp fiction sycophant, but rest assured, dear reader, when I say my newfound belief werewolves make desirable sex symbols has squat to do with a moody teenage heroine.
Instead, it’s got everything to do with a recent ‘a-ha’ (some might say 'no sh*t') moment that came by way of one Stephen Snyder, MD, Central Park West.
This writing of his got me thinking.
What about our minds and sex! What about how our headsrespond to sexual stimulation! What about coming to terms the horny brain AND the horny body!?!?!
Let me explain.
The physical transformations we undergo when aroused are, like the werewolf’s, more than obvious and measurable than any internal goings-on going on.
From our early sexual development to our breathy charge to the gates of climax, the ‘beast’ within comes out, evident in our hairy, engorged, squirty and coloured bodily bits and pieces.
The obviousness of these cues naturally captures our focus when it comes to sex. She might refer to his state of erection, for instance, as a gauge of carnal readiness rather than enquire as to his state of feeling.
In doing so, in making the swelling – that very animal thing – of penises or nipples or vulvas among the chief predictors of shag readiness, we are reminded that we are creatures. Little civilised, bank deposit-making, coffee-swilling, shoe-wearing beings that can turn into wild, crazy, sex animals in the right circumstances.
But what if we were able to tune into our psychology just as easily as our physiology?
I know, I know – we’ve all been told from time to time that the brain is our biggest sex organ; seduce the mind, light candles, blah-blah ESPECIALLY when it comes to the Llllaaaadies, riiiight?!
And yeah, yeah, that’s great – well not the ladies bit, that’s insulting AND limiting to the ladies – but I don’t believe the message has been taken up damn near as deep and well as it should have been.
Why? Because I’m not feeling it (and the extensively documented narcissism of bloggers will tell you that I believe Me to be shorthand for Everybody).
Again, I’m not feeling it.
I’m over-thinking it, and looking for it, but I’m not feeling it.
Why?
Wrongly, we’re taught to deny our physical animalism from a young age; wear clothes because nudity is offensive and embarrassing, just like your hairy pubes and your salty sweat and any noises or fluids that may escape your person during sex. This denial of the obvious is even more stringently applied to our psychological animalism – so effective have the various incarnations of the sexy-thoughts-mind-police been in censoring our minds, that self-censorship and guilt often accompanies ‘dirty’ thoughts (sigh, alright, perhaps particularly in women … virgin/whore complex anyone?).
Instead, I believe we should be taught to take charge of this animalism. I’m not suggesting for a second reasonable, civilised humans regress to their most basic forms all the time, or surrender to every primal urge, always – rather these feelings ought be acknowledged and explored in healthy, mature environments.
And the bedroom should be exactly that. A place where consenting adults can safely negotiate the release of the sex-beast within, body AND mind …
Cue Dr Snyder’s thought prompting response to a new book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts (which you can read in full here), specifically the end:
“… the authors quote Edward Abbey’s statement that for most modern people, sexuality is ‘the only realm of primordial adventure still left to us’. For most of us, sex may be the last wild place on earth.”
Is it really? Is modern sex really wild? Does it really allow for us to ‘transform’ like the werewolf? Or is ‘sex’ really the domain of domestic lap dogs; clipped, groomed, trained, but yearning, all the while, to howl like a wolf?
Let me explain.
The physical transformations we undergo when aroused are, like the werewolf’s, more than obvious and measurable than any internal goings-on going on.
From our early sexual development to our breathy charge to the gates of climax, the ‘beast’ within comes out, evident in our hairy, engorged, squirty and coloured bodily bits and pieces.
The obviousness of these cues naturally captures our focus when it comes to sex. She might refer to his state of erection, for instance, as a gauge of carnal readiness rather than enquire as to his state of feeling.
In doing so, in making the swelling – that very animal thing – of penises or nipples or vulvas among the chief predictors of shag readiness, we are reminded that we are creatures. Little civilised, bank deposit-making, coffee-swilling, shoe-wearing beings that can turn into wild, crazy, sex animals in the right circumstances.
But what if we were able to tune into our psychology just as easily as our physiology?
I know, I know – we’ve all been told from time to time that the brain is our biggest sex organ; seduce the mind, light candles, blah-blah ESPECIALLY when it comes to the Llllaaaadies, riiiight?!
And yeah, yeah, that’s great – well not the ladies bit, that’s insulting AND limiting to the ladies – but I don’t believe the message has been taken up damn near as deep and well as it should have been.
Why? Because I’m not feeling it (and the extensively documented narcissism of bloggers will tell you that I believe Me to be shorthand for Everybody).
Again, I’m not feeling it.
I’m over-thinking it, and looking for it, but I’m not feeling it.
Why?
Wrongly, we’re taught to deny our physical animalism from a young age; wear clothes because nudity is offensive and embarrassing, just like your hairy pubes and your salty sweat and any noises or fluids that may escape your person during sex. This denial of the obvious is even more stringently applied to our psychological animalism – so effective have the various incarnations of the sexy-thoughts-mind-police been in censoring our minds, that self-censorship and guilt often accompanies ‘dirty’ thoughts (sigh, alright, perhaps particularly in women … virgin/whore complex anyone?).
Instead, I believe we should be taught to take charge of this animalism. I’m not suggesting for a second reasonable, civilised humans regress to their most basic forms all the time, or surrender to every primal urge, always – rather these feelings ought be acknowledged and explored in healthy, mature environments.
And the bedroom should be exactly that. A place where consenting adults can safely negotiate the release of the sex-beast within, body AND mind …
Cue Dr Snyder’s thought prompting response to a new book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts (which you can read in full here), specifically the end:
“… the authors quote Edward Abbey’s statement that for most modern people, sexuality is ‘the only realm of primordial adventure still left to us’. For most of us, sex may be the last wild place on earth.”
Is it really? Is modern sex really wild? Does it really allow for us to ‘transform’ like the werewolf? Or is ‘sex’ really the domain of domestic lap dogs; clipped, groomed, trained, but yearning, all the while, to howl like a wolf?
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