Sunday October 16, 2011
Teach us to be grateful
THE GAP
By PHOOI SZE CHOONG
I’M writing today because I found Rebecca Cheng’s article (When less is more, Heart & Soul, Star2, Oct 2) very thought-provoking. So here is my say, from the point of view of a teenager.
I am 17 and to be honest, I suppose it is safe to say that I, like all my peers, may sometimes neglect the importance of feeling grateful. Some of us are reminded to be thankful by our parents, but some of us aren’t even brought up with such values.
Just because something is given to us doesn’t mean it is a birthright. But to a child who has always had everything served to him on a silver platter, it is not hard to see that the lack of gratitude among our generation cannot be merely our fault.
Although our parents mean well by not only providing us with the basic necessities in life, but pampering us as well, what society at large fails to realise is the fact that the comfortable lifestyle we teenagers lead these days is a result of overly-eager parents giving in to their children’s whims and fancies too easily, to please them.
Ask any parent around and he will tell you that the last thing he wants is for his children to be lacking in life, to lose out to their friends. But really, how is not owning the latest gadget considered “lacking in life” or “losing out to friends” when, in our parents’ time, their own parents worked hard not to pamper them with the latest handphone but to provide them with just an adequate education?
When a child has little, it teaches her to be appreciative of whatever she has. On the other hand, when a child is granted everything she wishes for, all that is given to her diminishes in value, be it monetary or otherwise.
This is the part where the issue of what our generation would call “a matter of entitlement” gets into the picture. Parents – in the name of love – would do anything to keep that smile on our faces and we – in the name of love as well – would demand more and more from them.
What actually constitutes enough? Everytime we get something, we ask for more simply because we know we can. This culture of not having to work for anything misleads the young into thinking that everything in life comes easy. Sadly, such mentality cultivates arrogance and flamboyant competitiveness, even at a young age .
As we grow accustomed to a life of luxury, we fail to be empathetic towards the adversity faced by others. How can you expect a child who has never tasted hardship to grow up into a humble, firmly grounded young adult? The problem here is that you can’t.
Personally, I am afraid that I, too, might be guilty on this account. I go to a private school and, naturally, grew up among rich kids who have designer goods. Unlike my friends, I do not come from a very rich family. But my family can generally be considered well-off, and the environment in school has more or less moulded me into a materialistic teen.
I am not afraid to admit that I have the good fortune of being pampered occasionally with the fancy gadgets I desire, the ones I’ve done nothing to deserve. But, despite that, I do believe it is very important to be grateful and contented with the life I’ve been bestowed with.
My parents have always reminded me about the importance of being humble and to enjoy life’s blessings quietly. I think it is very important for parents to educate their children on this and not just pamper them blindly.
Also, my parents do not just splurge on me. With them, it is never a matter of affordability but rather, whether my demand is reasonable and the item is worth it.
Some would argue that giving in to a child’s whims and fancies all the time is very reckless parenting, but I beg to differ. If a parent fulfils his part by explaining to a child the importance of being grateful and appreciative, the latter can in fact grow up into a cultivated, well-exposed adult instead of a spoilt brat for being materially equipped.
Swiping cards to satisfy the wants of their children and the unspoken responsibility of educating them on the value of money must go hand in hand. Otherwise, in the long run, it is us adolescents who will suffer from disappointments when we step into the working world, only to realise that it does not run on the “ask and ye shall get” principle.
I am 17 and to be honest, I suppose it is safe to say that I, like all my peers, may sometimes neglect the importance of feeling grateful. Some of us are reminded to be thankful by our parents, but some of us aren’t even brought up with such values.
Just because something is given to us doesn’t mean it is a birthright. But to a child who has always had everything served to him on a silver platter, it is not hard to see that the lack of gratitude among our generation cannot be merely our fault.
Although our parents mean well by not only providing us with the basic necessities in life, but pampering us as well, what society at large fails to realise is the fact that the comfortable lifestyle we teenagers lead these days is a result of overly-eager parents giving in to their children’s whims and fancies too easily, to please them.
Ask any parent around and he will tell you that the last thing he wants is for his children to be lacking in life, to lose out to their friends. But really, how is not owning the latest gadget considered “lacking in life” or “losing out to friends” when, in our parents’ time, their own parents worked hard not to pamper them with the latest handphone but to provide them with just an adequate education?
When a child has little, it teaches her to be appreciative of whatever she has. On the other hand, when a child is granted everything she wishes for, all that is given to her diminishes in value, be it monetary or otherwise.
This is the part where the issue of what our generation would call “a matter of entitlement” gets into the picture. Parents – in the name of love – would do anything to keep that smile on our faces and we – in the name of love as well – would demand more and more from them.
What actually constitutes enough? Everytime we get something, we ask for more simply because we know we can. This culture of not having to work for anything misleads the young into thinking that everything in life comes easy. Sadly, such mentality cultivates arrogance and flamboyant competitiveness, even at a young age .
As we grow accustomed to a life of luxury, we fail to be empathetic towards the adversity faced by others. How can you expect a child who has never tasted hardship to grow up into a humble, firmly grounded young adult? The problem here is that you can’t.
Personally, I am afraid that I, too, might be guilty on this account. I go to a private school and, naturally, grew up among rich kids who have designer goods. Unlike my friends, I do not come from a very rich family. But my family can generally be considered well-off, and the environment in school has more or less moulded me into a materialistic teen.
I am not afraid to admit that I have the good fortune of being pampered occasionally with the fancy gadgets I desire, the ones I’ve done nothing to deserve. But, despite that, I do believe it is very important to be grateful and contented with the life I’ve been bestowed with.
My parents have always reminded me about the importance of being humble and to enjoy life’s blessings quietly. I think it is very important for parents to educate their children on this and not just pamper them blindly.
Also, my parents do not just splurge on me. With them, it is never a matter of affordability but rather, whether my demand is reasonable and the item is worth it.
Some would argue that giving in to a child’s whims and fancies all the time is very reckless parenting, but I beg to differ. If a parent fulfils his part by explaining to a child the importance of being grateful and appreciative, the latter can in fact grow up into a cultivated, well-exposed adult instead of a spoilt brat for being materially equipped.
Swiping cards to satisfy the wants of their children and the unspoken responsibility of educating them on the value of money must go hand in hand. Otherwise, in the long run, it is us adolescents who will suffer from disappointments when we step into the working world, only to realise that it does not run on the “ask and ye shall get” principle.
Parents and their children at any age can have different points of view over just about everything. Or do they? We invite parents and children to write in to show us where the generation gap closes and widens. E-mail us at star2.gap@thestar.com.my.
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