Sexuality.

Daily Nexus
Feminist Misconceptions Marginalize Mutual Pleasure and Sexual Equality

By Sara-Fay Katz
Published on February 16, 2011

What does a feminist look like? Is it a dirty, Birkenstock-wearing, peace, love and happiness hippie with hairy armpits and a hairier bush? Why do we have this image of what feminism might mean? These stereotypes surrounding a common belief that women should be afforded equal opportunities and rights are groundless, and the misconception that a man cannot be a feminist is unjust in and of itself. As a sexually active human being, it is your duty to constantly question your beliefs and actions with regard to the equality of the sexes. If you are going to engage in an activity that is by definition founded in our inherent desire to be sexual, you have a responsibility to defend yourself, your choices and your partners.

Kiki Niebhur | Daily Nexus

I am a feminist. I love having sex, and I also love giving head. Pleasuring another person I have consented to pleasure is never degrading to me, and to call such an act degrading to womankind is an antiquated way of thinking. On the contrary, wanting to please someone in return for satisfaction you’ve received is equality, in its most literal form. I have morals, and I only believe in promiscuity when it is safe and mutually desired.

Women, you are allowed to be dirty and think filthy thoughts. You are allowed to be penetrated by whomever you choose and to want to make someone come so hard he loses his mind. You are in control of your body and you should not let anyone tell you that rough sex, crazy positions, jizz in your hair and loving the way it feels to be naughty is wrong.

Men, you must defend the women you fuck. You cannot talk about them like they don’t deserve your respect. If you want to have hot, steamy sex, I guarantee you will not get it from a woman you don’t value, or at least not one who is worth your time. Do not be ashamed to be called a feminist. If you love women, love their bodies, urges, minds and power, defend their right to have those passions and free will.

Of course there are dozens of branches of the feminist movement, and not all will agree with my opinions. I am not a radical activist; I believe in a sexually liberal feminism that brings attention not to the dominance of male control and desire, but to the equality of human sexuality. I also know there are many religious readers out there who disagree with any form of promiscuity, but I encourage those people to find a feminist position that complements their faith. Feminist theology is a broadly researched and written-on topic, so don’t let your disgust with my opinions keep you from connecting with your chance to mobilize.

I would like to propose a new way of thinking — a kind of “sexy feminism.” It’s 2011 for goodness sake; look how far we’ve come! Certainly we can all agree that equality of the sexes is not embodied by an unattractive person we don’t want to fuck because he/she is too busy picketing instead of showering. It is totally hot to feel wanted, needed and respected for my body and my mind — mutual acceptance is a turn-on.

So please, find the feminist within. The power to respect is blind to sex and gender. Bring out your desire to set people’s minds straight. And absolutely never let someone tell you that sleeping around makes you a slut. Girls, I am here to tell you that sucking on cock, fulfilling your fetish fantasies, getting titty-fucked and being bent over and railed are all within the boundaries of being proud to be a woman and an activist for women’s rights.

Safe sex is the most important priority. After that, sluttiness just doesn’t exist.

Daily Nexus sex columnist Sara-Fay Katz is making Feminism sexy again, one lay at a time.

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A version of this article appeared on page 14 of February 16, 2011's print edition of the Nexus.