Sexuality.

You don’t need alcohol for sex

BY DR. LAURA BERMAN drberman@bermancenter.com Mar 22, 2011 1:28PM

Is “drunk sex” the new norm for most couples?

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An alarming new study from the United Kingdom has found that most women prefer to knock back a few cocktails before having sex. Almost half of the female respondents reported that alcohol helps to them to lose their inhibitions and feel more adventurous during the act.

And swinging singles weren’t the only ones; 75 percent of committed women also reported that they enjoy a few libations before having intercourse with their boyfriend or husband.

These shocking findings illustrate the severe impact that body-image issues can have on a woman’s relationship and sex life.

Most of the respondents admitted that they turn to alcohol because it helps them feel more desirable, allowing them to check their body-image issues at the door. Alcohol helps a woman to forget she isn’t a size zero and that she doesn’t have the boobs she had when she was 20.

While a couple Cosmos can help you to feel a little more Megan Fox-y, they also can numb you and detract from your sexual experience. One glass of wine can help you to relax and get in the mood, but two, three, or more can make orgasm unlikely.

Women deserve to feel comfortable and sexy in their own skin without the aid of alcohol, and their partners deserve the clarity and adoration of a sober mind.

With practice, you can learn how to tap into your own beauty and sexual power without a bottle of wine. Here’s how:

Embrace your sexuality. We all have hangups about sexual desires, but women in particular suffer from sexual shame and guilt. “Nice girls” don’t make the first move, wear daring lingerie, or make their sexual needs a priority.

Unfortunately, all of this shame prevents women from embracing their sexuality. It’s hard to simply turn those voices off, but you can start to do so over time. Look for where those negative thoughts are coming from and then work past that shame and confusion. Embrace your sexuality through self-stimulation and fantasy, and then start channeling your new sexual energy and confidence into your relationship.

Find lingerie that works for you. Life is too short for granny panties. There are so many flattering and comfortable brands of lingerie out there, and with such a wide variety of colors and styles, there really is something for everyone. Lula Lu specializes in lingerie for petite women, while Eve’s Apples specializes in lingerie for women with small breasts. Hips & Curves offers a variety of lingerie for curvy and plus-sized women, and Hot Milk offers lingerie for women who are pregnant or nursing. Stores such as Target or Victoria’s Secret also have abundant varieties of undergarments that can satisfy the inner vixen in you.

Find the size and style that works for you, whether it’s leopard boyshorts, a lacy thong, or a hot pink pair of cheekys. Now hold your shoulders back and strut your stuff. The look on your partner’s face will be more rewarding than any number of cocktails!

Dr. Berman hosts “In The Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman” at 9 p.m. Mondays on OWN and “The Dr. Laura Berman Show” from 4 to 6 p.m. weekdays on Oprah Radio (on XM 156/Sirius 195).

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